Saturday, September 26, 2015

Common Drinks

Szechuan * Hunan * Cantonese

Phone Demeanor:
Never been turned on by a real-life Asian girl, but the lady who answered my call took my order SUPER seductively. Soft voice, lots of breathy “ohh, ok, nice,” just strung me along and tickled my pickle the whole time. Closest I’ve come to a phone sex hotline. MORE IMPORTANTLY, this dame asked how I was before even diving into the business hole of things. The language barrier did impede a little bit, as expected with these sorts of interactions, but not a deal-breaker.

The Waiting Game:
Solid 35 minutes. Not great. Honestly started to suspect my lameass roommates of tomfoolery, possibly intercepting my meal for themselves, since, you know, I was wearing my BEATS BY DRE (#namedrop #sponsorship), and those shits cancel out noise like a muh. OH, also, big misstep; specifically asked lil Miss Phonesex to have Mr. Delivery Dickhead call my phone rather than ring the bell. That way I don’t run the risk of my aforementioned lameass roommates having to answer the call and end up interacting with me. She took the request like a pro, and he did not ring my phone. Straight to the doorbell. Someone fucked up and it wasn’t me.

Just ate the Roast Pork Eggroll and decided to write a review, so I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that that was pretty fucking good. So are the Shrimp Eggrolls. To be honest, a little dipping sauce to accompany both of these would have been phenomenal (I tend to be a pretty avid sauce-man). I think I got Beef Chow Mein or some shit. Wasn’t SUPER good, considering they dropped about a half and onion into it (literally, it 2 full pieces of a quartered onion. Savage maneuver, if I do say so myself), but it’s not the worst Chinese dish I’ve ever eaten. I’m gonna go ahead and pop a quick 6 on this one and get on with my life.

OVERALL: 6/10 (averaged score)

Bottom line: I’ll go ahead and recommend this restaurant. First impressions are a big thing, and after being suckered in with the sexy phone lady, Good Taste came to bat with those fucking eggrolls. Couple lapses in the middle kept them from performing to the utmost I know a restaurant can perform, but I won’t hold it against them.

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